which, I wonder

But you see, it's confusing because now I am crying.
And I just wish I was different.
I wish it so hard it devours me.
And if I were different, maybe he would love me and
Things would be different and
Maybe I would be happier?
But
As it is now,
I am just me.
I'm not the "type"
I'm not the pretty one
And so
The choice should be clear.
And sometimes, it is.
But right now, I am crying.