Regression

I didn't say a word to you
And you, not one to me
I only stopped and saw from you
A nod, a wave.
Received.
I felt this way a while back...
Longer than it seems?
Despite the time I've not seen you,
I love you all the same.
No less
And yes, maybe more
The stuff that absence makes?
I felt like I could
hardly breathe
I ask
You give
I take.
Your face to me is
an analeptic
that takes its job
too far
And I
could only
curse
my silence
sitting in that car.
I should have said
how much I missed you
somehow
with
my eyes?
I choked on words
before they reached you.
Chance gone. Still hypnotized.
The next time fate
should draw us to
the same
vicinity
I'm gonna stop and talk to you.
I want
your words
for me.

Eighteen word memoir

(This is from the latest challenge on Soul Pancake: to write a memoir in as many words as years you've lived. It's not great, but here's mine.)

I'm a more quirky, bright, optimistic product of the people and things I love than before turning eighteen.

I'll continue.

What if it takes me another week
Another year
Another lifetime
To find my pace
After I lost it for so long?
What if I disappoint them
Once more
Twice more
So may times that they lose count
And can't ever trust me again?
What if I fall in love
With another boy someday
With a whole timeline of other boys
And when I look back on it someday
Each one has a big X next to it
That marks the part where it turned out
I wasn't good enough for him?
What if I try do do something
And then something else
And then fifty million other things
That I am not as good at
As most everyone else
And no one wants to pay me money
For my mediocre work?
...
I'll continue, I guess.
I'll continue.

And he was gone forever

Her name will be like fire
And her words be filled with breath
And her eyes will scream desire
Look! She's turning to his death

The world will fall around her
She'll see her sanctuary burn
Her eyes are growing rounder
For she'll have no place to turn

They will bring his body to her
She is telling him goodbye
And her days will still grow fewer
Her tears will not find his reply

She is curled up in her den once more
But she will find no solace there
Her mantra will be to fate deplore
And "come back to me" her prayer

Out of Bloom

Stop, just
STOP.
You are
being
too overbearing.
I know you are
not
thinking clearly
But
Can you try to?
Both of
us
Need to get some sleep now.

よるをおいかけて(WIP)

まよなかに
ひそんでいた
ねたときに
めをあけた
Blackness of midnight
Hid me clean away
When you fell asleep
I opened my eyes

Another random thought.

Lately my little sis calls me "Mi-Jo." Like, short for Jami Jo.
Cutecutecutecute >.< I love my sister. So very much. You're the greatest, Oliviprettya.

Untitled

The people in my head
Want to get out, want to get free
Want to crawl onto pages
Latch on to bodies of their own
They want to tell everyone who they are
Not just me
They want to scream out that they have faults
And dreams and ideas
Opinions about the world they live in
And those in which they don't
And they want to speak 'cause they have voices
And they want to strive and fail and then strive again
And fight until everyone knows that they are real
They are as real as anyone
Who ever graced a page.
They want someone to reach out and touch their faces
And be startled by the warmth
Of their real, living flesh
And marvel at the fact that
It was spun, all of it spun
From mere imagination and nothing else.

Discordant.

Black shoes and burdens abound
Is what it's like to have it around
This nagging voice in the back of my head
Saying something's gotta give,
You gotta get up again

I could stop listening
For five minutes
I could turn on the music
Until I get loose of it
But I don't
No, I never do
I'm not that kind of strong

Black dress and frozen ground
I try to find comfort in some new sound
This tension is always calling my name
Telling me I'm just asleep
Until I make a change

I'll try to drown it out
For five minutes
I'll just listen to the music
Until I get wind of it
It's no use
No, it never is
At least, never for long

I wrap myself up, all in black
Try to remember what a better me would do
I hear that voice and I call back
I'm not gonna sit here and take it like I used to

And when the sunlight comes streaming in
And I have a million pages of memories
I hope no one wears black for me
I hope they dress like
The snow or the trees or the earth or the sea
Oh please

This world has got much more for me
Than a sharp tongue like that
I'll drown it out
I'm calling back
You won't have a hold on me for long
The music
For five minutes
I'm all kinds of strong