My Eternal Struggle

I will summon up every--
EVERY
molecule of self-control within me
And maybe
MAYBE
I will let her be a bitch to me this time
and I won't try to defend myself.

Fevers

Burning, freezing
Pulling, kicking
Light switches and stumbling
Stumbling for a glass of
Cranberry juice and then
Collapsing
In a
Heap
And wondering why on earth
It actually
Worked out this time
And not knowing if
The bad part was
Really just
A dream.

Let's just
Hear the music now
And dream while awake
About
The words they're singing
As if
Maybe
The songs themselves can
Make
The Fever
Break.

Poem About a Person I Know #3

I was listening to
"Blue Wind" by YUI
And I suddenly realized
How perfectly
It describes what we were.
It reminded me of
how I fell in love
For the first time
And what that was like
And
I smiled.
I'm glad that I
Can have fond memories
Of those times now.
One of these days
I'm going to send you
That song
And hope you know enough
Japanese
To understand the lyrics
And I hope it brings you
A fond memory as well
And I hope that
You'll smile
The smile that I remember
Crossing your lips from time to time
When you heard a song
You liked.

Kayla-Style Poem

Gonna try the Kayla thing
A poem on the spot
A poem on a whim.

Gonna take these fingers and
Reach for the right letters
To make up the right words.

Gonna bathe in bright white light
Reclining on the bed
Reclining next to Miles.

Taylor interrupts and says
He needs my help right now
But then says "never mind."

He has left my door open
One moment, if you please
I need to close it now.

Swedish electronica
Is playing on iTunes
"Ooa Hela Natten" plays.

I'm thinking about the things
I've thought about lately
That confuse me so much.

Soon I'll need to figure out
What comes after high school
And how I really feel.

But right now it seems just fine
To lie here and listen
As J-metal fades in.

Goodbye Swedish techno-pop
Time for another song
Where will this one lead me?

Tastebuds

My friends all know that I love muffins
I make my pie and soup with pumpkin
Love cabbage red and onions green
Potato cakes and lima beans

Salmon, sushi, shrimp, and scallops
Carrots, crabmeat, chamomile, capers
Parsley and persimmons

freshly-cracked black pepper
Nearly overripe raspberries
seaweed, rice paper
And those red-and-yellow cherries

Curry
Olives
Rare steak
Cornbread
Whole long-grain white rice
With pan-seared tofu on top

I love cilantro and biscotti
Fresh mushrooms and manicotti
I love beer and salmon roe
I love eggs, cheesecake, and cloves
Home-baked bread still steaming hot
Chicken roasted in crock pots
Chickpea fries, red tea with cream
Water from an alpine stream
Cream cheese frosting(not too sweet)
Wasabi(the right amount of heat)
I love cumin and pot pie
Lean turkey and Swiss on rye

I love much more than I can tell
Life's too short to not eat well.

Poem About a Person I Know #2, a.k.a Olivia, Part Something of Many

Wide eyes.
I want to be like you.
Gloriously bright, lively, alpine-lake-colored eyes with lashes so dark and delicate, they seem like ink from a Russian doll painter's single-hair brush--
I wish I could be like you.

Thin smile.
I want you to be happy.
A simple and pretty little smile, curving those coral-pink lips only slightly, yet communicating the purest unbridled joy--
I rejoice in seeing you happy.

Smooth skin.
I think about your future.
Poreless skin like tea with cream, soft and vibrant, and sometimes catching those pale freckles I love so much--
I spend so much time imagining what your future might be like.

Bright hair.
You are loved.
Hair resembling spun gold just like in the fairytales, each long strand glittering from tip to tip, faling down over your shoulders in a million different shades of yellow and gold and white, saffron and platinum and sunflower and parchment--
You are deeply loved by so many people.

Small nose.
You are a smart girl.
The cutest little nose like something painstakingly chiseled by a scullptor, then worn smooth over time, turned up only slightly, and it wrinkles when you laugh--
You have the brightest mind of any girl of twelve I've ever known.

I could write a million words about who you are, outwardly and within.
I'm in awe of you, darling.
Right now you feel like someone's trying to bring you down,
But they could never reach high enough to even touch you.
Always remember how I see you, darling.

Staircase Epyllion

Two young ladies of fair skin, we took the world head-on

I with my short hair of fire; Allie’s golden locks fell long.

Presumably aimless, we wandered that morn

With the sun still low and our shoes well worn.

No goal had been set, no providence defined.

We set off boldly to a destination blind.

Though obstacles were few and the going seemed level,

Soon, and without warn, our hopes became disheveled.

For there up ahead, lies there not an impediment?

An incline of steep steps spread with students’ tracked-in sediment.

Is this some common challenge sent to test us, from the gods?

We measured steps with our eyes, and with our judgment, our odds.

It was I who came forth first, fearing a fate quite grave

Faithful companion, Allie, claimed her duty: my life to save.

The first few chilling steps were without flaw, but what’s this!

It seems this long, hard journey will be far from ease and bliss.

A misplaced foot would be my downfall on one step’s steep lip,

And had my companion not been there, I surely would have slipped.

Recalculating my footfalls and hoping for the best,

I turned and, with eyes full of tears, I breathed solemn bequest.

“My faithful friend, please listen close to what I have to say,

For here in my despair I fear I’m living my last days.

If by chance I do survive, I’ll write an epyllion great,

But should I parish, my friend, I bequeath to you my humble estate.”

And with new strength in our bones and two outcomes distinct,

We two then proceeded, destinies interlinked.

Great monsters we battled: daunting pebbles; slick sand

But at the top of the slant we one day came to stand.

And true to my promise, I wrote from my heart

A tale to forever set us great two apart.

Recall this account whenever trials will stand in your way

And face them with the same bold strength that we two had that day.

Concrete Art

If you're going to make art on concrete
Please
Put a little thought and effort into it.
Crude, but look how well proportioned that hand is-- good, good.
I need not even mention that other stuff that's obviously art
But those few spraypainted shapes were hardly pictures and
I enjoyed them far less than that other crude thing I saw
On concrete today.

Poem About a Person I Know #1

I think I could be in love with you if I wanted to be.
And by that I mean that I could if I saw you often enough, thought about you all the time, mulled over your good traits.
There are times when I've even thought I was in love with you, and then I remembered that oh yeah, I'm just a kid
And you know that.
On those occasions, I talked myself down. And it wasn't difficult or painful.
But I still think very highly of you.
This one time someone told me they thought you had a bit of a crush on me, and I thought
Awesome. I hope that's true. I would really be interested in talking about my crush on you
if that was true.
Usually I think it's impossible for that to be true, and that's why I'm not in love with you.

Crush on a Gay Childhood Friend

Here's the thing:
I think he made most of that up.
But he probably didn't mean harm like she said,
'Cause he probably didn't mean anything,
And was making it up as he went along.
It was kind of self-serving, though.
But here's the other thing:
We might actually be closer in the long run because of
that silly boy making stuff up and kinda making me uncomfortable at the time.
And of course I understand things better now, and I don't feel the same way
But I'm looking forward to being closer in the long run.

>

Please
take me back to
my city
where my
FEET
don't hurt.

Obligatory first post GO!

So I decided to put up a place on the interwebs for mostly poetry but maybe also occasionally just random thoughts. Annnd here is that place.
I'm going to try to post stuff on some sort of regular schedule, but I suck at sticking to schedules, so I won't even tell you what my plan is.
Er yeah I'm not sure if I'm making sense right now.
Enjoy reading stuff?
'Kay bye.


-Jami Jo