~Sha.la.la.la.la.~

It
was like
someone was tapping me on the shoulder.
It brought
to mind
everything at once, and nothing fantastic or
extraordinary.
It was
as if
this was going to be my entire life
and if I escaped
I would be bracing myself
for
the punchline.
It was
so very difficult and
lousy with the obstacles
I felt I could never
overleap
and yet
it was
so easy, like sailing
and knowing
that getting stuck in irons
only meant
waiting for the wind to change
and knowing that it inevitably would.
And speaking of being in irons,
even the times of stationary frustration
were not devoid of
things to see and enjoy
and could even be
peaceful.
And so
she asks
if I am ready to leave
and if
I am scared enough
to sabotage
to think backwardly and to
stake myself to the linoleum
And I
With confidence
Say
No, of course not.
And yet
Once I am gone
I won't be able
to say
it was all bad
anymore.
I will
have to
admit
to everyone, starting with
myself
that it was a gentle
if frustrating
road I've been on
and the bright times
outshined
the bad
and it wouldn't be
totally crazy
if I didn't want
to leave.
And when that time comes
I will also admit
that it was all of you
even the ones I scorned, or
wanted to
that will make me remember
that gentle rhythm on my shoulder
and smile;
it was all of you
and not
just the object of my
one-track mind that will ultimately
remind me
that it's never too late
to repaint the walls.
And since I can't see those
pale pink lines anymore
and have made headway
on discovering the bounds of
my weaknesses, yes
but my strengths too
I can see how soon
I'm gonna hit that next chapter--
the one
I thought
not too long ago
was an utter impossibility.
My whole world for these
long years
will give at my fingertips
and allow me to rend it to shards.
I will choose my best of them
and carry them on
to where I'm going next.
I hope
those shards
will stay with me always
never losing their sheen
and at a moment's notice
picking up
like leaves in autumn wind
to commemorate
in whispers
with me.